Jab's Survivor Series Reviews (1995- The Diesel Era Dies)

[Jabroniville]

Yeah, so I got the sets from the first show to 1996 or so, and have been plowing through them at a pretty good rate so far. Here's the reviews!

Survivor Series Trends:

a) Sacrificial Lamb: in a match where a Main Eventer is wrestling, someone will ALWAYS job to him and his finisher. Especially if the guy gets eliminated later somehow. Usually a JTTS or tag wrestler will fall to him, sometimes relatively early.

b) Typical Format: Big star, a subordinate, and a tag team. Not there in the first couple years, and occasionally Whole Stables come into things, but usually it's like this.

c) Five-Man or Four-Man Teams?: Five in the first few, then quickly switched to a semi-permanent Four-Man system, which works better all around. Takes up less time, and gives you more room to work with.

d) Elmination Order of Jobberdom: Occasionally played with, but generally, the lowest guy on the ladder gets elminated first, and things move up until only the top guys are left.

e) Eye For An Eye: In a more generically-booked match, Team A will drop a guy, then Team B will, etc., until the near-end of the match when things get more interesting. Obviously a Justified Trope, since there's only so many combos you can go with.

f) The Whole Team Survival: Not done too often (especially not twice per show), but eventually, in a feat of dominance, an entire team will survive. Generally, the losing team will either have tons of jobbers, or just be screwed by various means.

g) Shitty Move Pin: For some reason, in order to get more eliminations going without flying out with finishing moves all the time, guys will get pinned by the weirdest shit. Kneedrops, Suplexes and the famous CLOTHESLINE finish are common, when those would NEVER get the fall in a normal match.

[Jabroniville]

WWF Survivor Series (1987)-

Now THIS show was a unique idea. Take tag team matches, make them REALLY REALLY BIG, then stick elimination rules onto them. I'm not sure who invented the concept of really big tag matches, but it was a good one. This is way back when there was only ONE Pay Per View a year (WrestleMania, duh), so it's pretty astounding in general. It's between WM III and WM IV, so we've got the Hogan/Andre feud STILL GOING, Honky Tonk Man as the most hated midcard heel of all time as IC Champion, and 9,000 awesome tag teams making up that division.

-Note: The first couple years are actually 5-on-5. Not sure why that decision was made, as it REALLY crowds up the rings and means we only get four matches on the PPV, but it'd be gone within a few years.

----

Match #1:
The Honky Tonk Man (c) (w/ Jimmy Hart), "Dangerous" Danny Davis, "The King" Harley Race (w/ Bobby Heenan), "Outlaw" Ron Bass & The Mighty Hercules
(VS)
"Macho Man" Randy Savage (c) (w/ Elizabeth), Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat, Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake, Jake "The Snake" Roberts & "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan-

-OK, how is this match even remotely fair? Randy Savage practically has the superstar A-list of Babyfaces in the company on his side, and Honky's got basically a collecting of Jobbers To The Stars on his (I mean, Danny Davis?). The pre-match interviews are all pretty astonishing, as there's like seven bodies in each shot, and EVERYONE is screaming. See, this is why the "Wrestler Stereotype" on all movies & TV shows since the 80s has been the "Screaming Wrestler" archetype. Hacksaw & Harley Race have an issue going over the "King" title, so they brawl around, eventually going out of the ring for a Double Count-Out, getting rid of them quickly. Wow, Ron Bass totally looks like shit in here, being flabby and balding. Beefcake eliminates him with a HIGH KNEE of all things (see: Shitty Move Pin), sneaking in as he leapfrogs Macho Man. Damn, Savage was an awesome worker at this point in time, just hitting EVERYTHING beautifully. Honky Tonk gets rid of Beefcake shortly thereafter (see, we're in the first match of the first show ever and they're already doing the "Eye For An Eye" thing) with Shake, Rattle & Roll after Danny Davis got his attention.

Things slow down BIG TIME as the heels work their slow wear-down holds on the faces and cheat liberally. See, this has no place in a Ten Man Tag format. Steamboat's martial arts stuff looks funny now that we have MMA and know that most fighters don't do karate chops. Danny Davis finally gets DDT'd and he's gone. Honky & Herc are now pretty fucked against the three biggest non-Main Event babyfaces in the company, and Hercules gets dropped, giving Macho Man his official Sacrificial Lamb with the Flying Elbow after an awesome double team with Steamboat (hey, weren't those two trying to murder each other just a few months before this? This was back when that didn't happen once a month, btw), who'd chopped Herc. That leaves Honky Tonk alone, and they basically beat the ever-loving shit out of him while the crowd goes nuts for a few minutes, allowing the fans to go home happy that justice is done, and then he bails for the Count-Out. Wow, he even does that in SURVIVOR matches, with no Title on the line.

SURVIVORS: Macho Man, Ricky Steamboat & Jake Roberts. Not a bad match- Savage & Steamboat looked like gold, but it had way too much resting from Honky Tonk's shitty wrestling. The faces were TOTALLY dominant when they weren't being cheated, though.

----

Match #2:
Sensational Sherri (c), The Glamour Girls (w/ Jimmy Hart), Dawn Marie & Donna Christianello
(VS)
The Fabulous Moolah (c), The Jumping Bomb Angels, Velvet McIntyre & Rockin' Robin-

-Yes, this is a Survivor WOMEN'S MATCH. You're not seeing things. This is actually pretty famous in long-forgotten "Workrate Fans" history as a Coming-Out Party for the Bomb Angels, two Japanese women's workers who pulled out some amazing shit. See, how wrestling used to work before the interweb came in was this: The women's wrestlers in Japan (who were FUCKING AWESOME and worked as hard as the men, as Dynamite Kid noted in his book) would invent moves first, being lighter and more athletic, thus able to do crazier shit. Then the Japanese Juniors would start using it. Then the Heavyweight class would pick up on the easier-to-do versions. THEN in the west, we'd get guys starting to do the same shit. Compare to the standard Western way of women's wrestling, where the women are about ten years BEHIND the men. That's my theory, anyways- it explains perfectly why all the women are ugly & flabby, doing hairpulls & airplane spins in the '80s, they were colourful bad wrestlers in the '90s, and why in the 2000s they were suddenly doing some pretty kick-ass workrate-intensive matches like the mid-90s had.

ANYWAYS, onto the match. God, these are some ugly mugs out there. How did they even find ten women combined to wrestle in this match? Moolah's a face for some reason, though the crowd seems to hate her, and Sherri's the women's champ back when she actually wrestled. Velvet McIntyre (who had that SHITTY 2 minute 'Mania match against Moolah once) rolls up Donna Christianello, for our Elimination Order of Jobbers. The Bomb Angels wow the crowd within seconds by doing about three combination-Roll-Ups that'd never been seen in the West till that point. Rockin' Robin does a Flying Cross-Body on Dawn Marie (no, not THAT one- this one has an even uglier face, if you can buy that) to get rid of her, leaving the heels down 5-3 really quickly. They bounce back after a long period in inaction, though, as Sherri does a standard Suplex for the Shitty Move Pin on Rockin' Robin, and the Glamour Girls do a Double Clothesline, finishing off Moolah, which is pretty weird, seeing as how she was Team Captain.

Velvet gets another pinfall with a Victory Roll on SHERRI, leaving both Captains gone, oddly enough. Apparently she's getting a big push, but Leilani Kai gives her a Slingshot Electric Chair Suplex (!!) when she tries the same shit on her. Holy CRAP. So now it's just down to the Glamour Girls & The Jumping Bomb Angels, and they do some more generic tag team work on each other, with some neat moves again. One Angel does a Flying Cross-Body to Leilani Kai, ending her night, and in short order, Judy Martin also falls to a Flying Clothesline. And the Angels are indeed over. It'd last a few months, as they'd win the Ladies' Tag Team Titles and go on for a bit, but they'd be forgotten quickly.

SURVIVORS: The Jumping Bomb Angels. Amazing, unique stuff being shown amidst all the 70s-offense of tosses and pulls, so the match is actually pretty good. Don't expect WCW Cruiserweight-type goodness, but still, it's like ***** compared to the usual women's crap of this era.

----

Match #3:
Strike Force (c), The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers, The British Bulldogs, The Killer Bees & The Young Stallions
(VS)
The Hart Foundation (c) (w/ Jimmy Hart), The Islanders (w/ Bobby Heenan), Demolition (w/ Mr. Fuji), The Dream Team II (w/ Johnny V) & The Bolsheviks (w/ Slick)

-Holy mother of fucking shit, that is a LOT of guys to be in one match. Seriously, that's more guys than have ever been in the ring during a ROYAL RUMBLE, much less an actual match! Dig the FIVE managers on the heel side. It has to be seen to be believed to have this much mass out there. Look at his and WEEP at the present state of the Tag Teams in the industry. I mean, TEN TEAMS, all of whom were actually pretty big names at this point? And HOLY SHIT- they actually play Demolition's REAL THEME SONG. Now how in the fuck do their Music Rights work now, if they can't do that for 'Mania, SS or the Rumble? The Bolsheviks are in first, staying in for a while (which should be a clue to who goes out first), and sure enough, a Flying Forearm from Chico Santana puts Boris Zhukov (who looks hilariously similar to a giant six-foot midget) away in our Elimination Order of Jobbers. Then there's about a BILLION tag-offs in a row, as the announcers even start laughing at how fast everything's going, as you've got eighteen guys spending about ten seconds each in the ring. Then they laugh about how awful it is to get caught in the enemy corner when there's eight heels on one side. Nobody gets eliminated for a while until an Eye For An Eye trend starts with Jacques Rougeau missing a Cross-Body and getting pinned by Ax. God, the Heel Team has SO much power it's not even funny- Demos, Neidhart and the Islanders. Demolition is clearly over, and having fun kicking the living shit out of the faces in awesome manner, but Smash gets DQed for shoving the ref, to let them leave with their heat intact.

There's a HUGE beat-down of the Young Stallions going on here, as Gorilla & Jesse go on about them being insanely tough and full of heart, because they just won't die. It never turned into a concrete push because they were both jobber-worthy, but it's nice to see them try. Strike Force are out of it for like ten minutes before finally getting in. Martel nearly gets Neidhart, but Bret nails him to stop the pin, and then Neidhart brains Martel with the Megaphone for the pin. The Bulldogs sure aren't spending alot of time in the ring, as it looks like they're being groomed for company elimination by this point (even though they were here next year too). Sure enough, Haku no-sells a Headbutt and Superkicks Dynamite Kid in the face to end their night. Dino Bravo is notably being kept out of the ring for almost the entire thing, because he's by far the shittiest wrestler in here. Paul Roma does a Flying Sunset Flip on Greg Valentine while he thought Jim Powers was the legal man. A HHUUUUUUUUGGGE slowdown now occurs, as it's two-on-two. Haku & Tama waste time while the Stallions sell. And sell. The Killer Bees FINALLY get involved again, and we get a shocker, as Tama dropkicks Hart over to pin Brunzell, but Brunzell rolls through it to knock the Harts out of things.

The Bees finally end things by donning masks and switching off, so Blair finishes Tama with a Sunset Flip at nearly FOURTY MINUTES IN to end the match.

SURVIVORS: The Killer Bees & Young Stallions. Really good match, with TONS of double-teaming, at least four awesome finishes you hardly ever see, great booking and great workers involved. A little too slow at some points, and the Stallions push never went anywhere, but still. Has to be seen to be believed with this many good teams involved.

- Nice bit with Ted DiBiase doing a generic promo over how rich he is while driving various cars and at his one estate. Clips of his various "Contests" for the Crowd Plants to earn money follow, and of course, they're all brilliant. Ted staring a four-year old boy in the face and laughing that he's a loser and won't get paid because he's not good enough is unparalleled heel work. How did Tiger Ali Singh fuck up this same gimmick years later? The "Kick the basketball away before he can make the last bounce" bit is always classic. And hey! There's Rob Van Dam kissing his sweaty feet!

----

Match #4:
Hulk Hogan (c), Ken Patera, Paul Orndorff, Bam Bam Bigelow (w/ Oliver Humperdink) & "The Rock" Don Muraco
(VS)
Andre the Giant (c) (w/ Bobby Heenan), King Kong Bundy, The One Man Gang (w/ Slick), "Ravishing" Rick Rude & "The Natural" Butch Reed-

-Okay, what the fuck? Randy Savage gets the frickin' dream team of the century for his babyface squadron, and Hogan picks up THESE losers? My roomie was watching this, and he joked that when he was seven watching this era, even HE knew Muraco was just a jobber! And Ken Patera?

First thing's first, and the faces get working RIGHT AWAY into beating the shit out of "The Natural", Hogan using him as a Sacrificial Lamb with the Legdrop (which sets off warning bells to anyone who knows their Survivor Series trends). Weird spot as Hogan accidentally tags out to Ken Patera when Andre comes in, and then he bitches about it like it's IMPOSSIBLE to just tag right back in. WTF? Rick Rude comes in to get the living shit kicked out of him (about all he was good for at this point, other than threatening my sexuality with his toned abs), but then Ken Patera, the designated loser of the Babyfaces, gets caught with an OMG Clothesline for our Shitty Move Pin. Lotta those going on tonight. Before things get two Eye For An Eye, Rick Rude adds to the Face team's woes by cheaply rolling up Paul "Jobber To The Stars As a Face" Orndorff. No wonder he turned heel after this crap. Muraco nails a SWEET Powerslam to finish off Rude for that one. Dang, those 'roids must be good for something.

Things are even again, but the sheer MASS of the Heel Side is still unbearably powerful (seriously, Big Fat Guys are an effective choice of Terror in wrestling, I gotta say). One Man Gang (alot of pins for that guy tonight) finishes Muraco with a 747 Splash. Then, in a BIG shocker considering what normally happens at these things (as in, all of them), Hulk Hogan gets COUNTED OUT, because he got yanked out and had to fight off OMG & Bundy. Well that's one way to do it, but still, way to cheap out the fans who want Hogan/Andre II. Hogan bitches & moans, but gets sent to the back, and now newbie sensation Bam Bam Bigelow is left completely alone. Yeah, he's just straight fucked. Even HOGAN couldn't beat these odds.

Some great booking, though, as Bammer dodges the Avalanche and hits his Slingshot Splash for the pin on King Kong Bundy! Then after he gets worked over AGAIN, he beats One Man Gang by dodging a Flying Splash. Yeah, he's doing great! He's got the momentum now! Oh wait, it's Andre, and yes, it is FUCKING SCARY to see someone as huge as Bam Bam Bigelow look like Little Beaver in there against someone. Smack, smack, Side Suplex, and it's done.

SOLE SURVIVOR: Andre the Giant. Well, the match was very energetic and there wasn't alot of time wasting until the Epic Fattie Beat-Down at the end of the match, which dragged things down a bit. The rapid-fire pinfalls kept this lot of mostly-shitty workers from hampering the festivities.

----

The Review: Whattaya want? It's the first-ever Survivor Series. The matches were INSANELY long (20 minutes on average for the three, 40 minutes for the Tag Team one), but they didn't feel boring for about 80% of the action, and it's literally 4/4 (100%) for good matches, which you pretty much never see. Okay, so nothing was AMAZING (I'd give the tag match **** on principal as match of the night), but SS matches are always tremendous fun, even if the guys are shitty, as long as you get legit falls most of the time.

[AverageSquid]

ANOTHER Jab thread to sticky. Awesome review and especially interesting to me since I never got the pleasure of seeing the first few SSes. I expect I'll enjoy this review thread more than your others, Jabber, since Survivor Series was always my favourite big event thing that they did, alongside King Of The Ring and I still think they are fools not to bring the old Survivor Series format back

[Sick Nick]

I look forward to Jab's comment when Warlord nearly backdropped Shawn Michaels into the Sun at SurSer 90.

[Murmur]

If i recall correctly the WWF started Survivor Series as a way to take advantage of the Hogan/Andre feud(Which fans still wanted to see more of)and the first 3 or 4 or 5 were held on Wednesday nights or Thanksgiving Eve.

[Crab Master]

This was the one with the Goobledy Gooker?

[Propeus The Fallen]

Hogan could overcome those odds...if the ref disqualified the heels for predestrian stuff.

The Goobledy Gooker is 1990 or 1991.

[Jabroniville]

WWF Survivor Series (1988)-

-Another five-on-five show, this time with no Women's match (the concept was basically killed in the company by last year, once the Moolah/Rockin' Robin/Sherri thing fell apart). The company is MOSTLY the same, except Macho Man is now the ultra-over Champion, he's buddies with Hogan, and a few change-ups have happened in the undercard (no more Steamboat, Bam Bam, Bundy, Butch Reed, Muraco or Young Stallions; The Ultimate Warrior is now King Shit of the faces, and Bad News Brown & The Rockers are here.

----

Match #1:
The Honky Tonk Man (c) (w/ Jimmy Hart), Bad News Brown, Greg "The Hammer" Valentine,  "The King" Harley Race (w/ Bobby Heenan) & "Dangerous" Danny Davis
(VS)
The Ultimate Warrior (c), Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake, The Blue Blazer, Sam Houston & "Jumpin'" Jim Brunzell

-J-J-J-Jumpin' Jim Brunzell?! Are you fucking kidding me? How in the hell did HE get SS duty? Are there REALLY that few people in the company by this point, that to pad out three undercard singles-wrestler matches, they gotta put in the one Killer Bee that didn't get dropped? OK, Wiki-check says he's replacing Don Muraco, who'd recently been given the heave-ho for being way too "Early-80s". God, Warrior & Bruti sure look like they scraped the dregs of the singles field for this one. Well, they start okay, because Honky picked similarly shitty teammates, as Danny Davis goes out a minute in to Beefcake's Sleeperhold (coughSacrificecough; and it means he won't hit that move again all match).

Bad News even things up by buttfucking Jim Brunzell and killing him with the Ghetto Blaster, but he gets nailed by Valentine and walks off in a huff because he's doing a huge "Bad-ass longer" gimmick. So Honky's team is kinda fucked, but Ron Bass removes Sam Houston from the dead wood of the team with a Powerslam. Note Jesse Ventura, who's obviously buddies with the Harts, give verbal blowjobs to how amazing the face Blue Blazer is. Of course, Owen wasn't anywhere near a push at this point, so he hurts his leg on a cheap fall off the top (via Honky) and gets Figure-Foured out by Valentine, giving the faces the requisite uphill battle. Beefcake & Honky Tonk brawl to the outside and get counted out, leaving the Warrior alone. Since he carefully conserved his endurance by standing around on the apron most of the match (looking lost when he was in the ring for more than thirty seconds), he should do OK.

Ron Bass is an easy sacrifice, losing a Shitty Move Pin to a double-axehandle. Another one to Valentine ends it.

SURVIVORS: The Ultimate Warrior. The IC Champ wins big, looking like a superstar once again, when the company's top flight JTTS guys drop like flies around him. Note the BS eliminations on Honky & Brutus, as both were supposed to be kept strong. Not that great a match, but OK.

----

Match #2:
Demolition (c) (w/ Mr. Fuji), The Brain Busters (w/ Bobby Heenan), The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers (w/ Jimmy Hart), The Bolsheviks & Los Conquistadores
(VS)
The Powers of Pain (c), The Hart Foundation, The British Bulldogs, The Rockers & The Young Stallions

-Yeah, ANOTHER huge uber-fucking tag match with 20 guys crowding the ring. These are awesome- it sucks they stopped doing them, but I guess it'd get old. Los Conquistadores are truly bizarre- a pair of Latino wrestlers (Joses Rivera & Estrada) who were 100% pure jobbers at this point, brought in basically to add another heel team. Seriously, they were a group that would be pulling an upset by beating the Killer Bees. The Rougeaus go out REALLY fast, considering, with Raymond falling to a Small Package from Bret. Jesus, that was quick. You'd almost think they were leaving early to avoid having to meet someone in the back after it was over or something. More weirdness, as the obviously faltering Young Stallions go next thanks to BORIS ZHUKOV hitting a Crossbody of all things, but the Bolsheviks (another jobber duo- as you can see little mini-cracks forming in the tag ranks like this even now) fall again to a Marty Jannetty Sunset Flip.

BULLSHIT finish, as Bret Hart (who's been getting the biggest reactions of all the faces as soon as he gets in the ring- he was REALLY over for a tag guy) lands a German Suplex on Tully Blanchard, who puts his shoulder up at "3", eliminating Bret, whose shoulders were down. I always hated that one. More gayness, as the Brain Busters & The Rockers go all double-team batshit crazy on each other, brawling until the refs disqualify the lot of them. Our requisite Shitty Move Pin has Smash Clotheslining Dynamite Kid to finish off the Bulldogs, before they can get revenge on the Rougeaus in the back. The Bulldogs HAD TO have been nearly gone by this point as well- this is honestly a throwback to have seen them in the same ring as the Rockers & Powers of Pain.

Now it's the REALLY weird ending. See, the CONQUISTADORES of all teams are still there, and the big Demolition/Powers of Pain rivalry is still ongoing. But then Fuji betrays Demolition because they're "too big for their britches", elminating Ax with a lame Count-Out when he pulls the ropes down. So Demo kicks his ass (instantly turning face), but then the POWERS turn HEEL, dusting Fuji off for no reason and making him THEIR manager. All of that made absolutely zero sense to me as a kid watching this for the first time, and makes little sense now. I mean, what kind of a heel turn was that? Barbarian casually finishes off Uno of the Mexicans to win the match.

SURVIVORS: The Powers of Pain. Very weird, disjointed match, with all KINDS of lame finishes. And not only was the finale with Demo/Powers screwed, but what in the hell were the CONQUISTADORES still doing there? Were they a jobber team necessary to give the Powers the final win without beating anyone really hated? Their inclusion here just feels bizarre. This match is arguably more famous and well-liked than last years' vesrion, but I liked that one better. Less lame finishes and DQs, and more action with classic teams. This one's still okay though, and 40 minutes of near-constant action except for the long drawn-out stuff at the end.

----

Match #3:
Andre the Giant (c) (w/ Bobby Heenan), "Ravishing" Rick Rude, Dino Bravo (w/ Frenchy Martin), Mr. Perfect, & Harley Race
(VS)
Jake "The Snake" Roberts (c), "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan, Tito Santana, Ken Patera & Scott Casey

-REALLY? SCOTT CASEY? They couldn't just get Brunzell to do double-duty or something? So apparently both JYD & B. Brian Blair all left the company by this point, necessitating Casey, and ACTUAL JOBBER (ie. Barry Horowitz circa 1991) being a member of the face squad, who now looks like it was made by Roberts throwing darts at a collage of the worst possible talent choices. Jesus, look at Patera. He looks about half as good in shape as he was the year before- horrible and flabby. After a really long start with no pinfalls, Rick Rude finishes him off with the Rude Awakening (thus guaranteeing he won't see the end of the match- you NEVER see a finisher more than once in this era). Patera would be gone within a month, as commentators mentioned (ON AIR) that he should retire and he sucked now. Scott Casey actually gives it a good go with JOBBER SKILLZ (as most jobbers are actually as well-rounded as can be), but Dino Bravo ends him with the Side Slam of Suck, leaving Roberts shittily numbered 5-3. And ANDRE is one of the five.

Thankfully, the heels have a ton of shit dead weight as well, so Chico Santana finishes Grampa Race (seriously, he looks like my buddy's grandpa here) with the Flying Picante easily. Andre puts a stop to THAT bullshit in a hurry, simply by sitting down. Poor Tito. Oh well, at least Andre didn't shit on his chest like poor Bad News. Jim Duggan is actually stupid enough to just grab a 2x4 and get eliminated. Okay, I think I JUST figured out Duggan's whole gimmick- they couldn't SAY it on TV at the time, but his gimmick was that he was ACTUALLY RETARDED. The pointless jingoism, the funny stomping around, the split-eyed look, the tongue- it all fits! Hacksaw was legitimatly pre-Eugene Eugene!! THAT'S why they were teamed up that time! Holy crap, I can't believe it took me this long to notice that!

Roberts is right proper fucked now, going 4-on-1. He gets a few hope spots, namely fucking up Rude's world with the DDT, which is really all the crowd came here to see from him. Let's face it, the guy's got the Snake, the DDT, and the promos- Jake was a fucking shitty worker. Some nice strategy from the Heenan Family follows, as Andre does his requisite Choking While Leaning on the Ropes So He Doesn't Die, and gets DQed for it because he won't release. This leaves Jake dead on the mat, and Mr. Perfect just casually pins him to win.

SURVIVORS: Mr. Perfect and Dino Bravo. Oh, BULLSHIT. DINO FUCKING BRAVO, the most genuinelly useless and least-talented heel in the company, gets to survive? GOD, the never-ending subtle push of him just WON'T STOP. Seriously, he wins an inordinate amount of matches considering he was authentically worthless. Boring, boring match, as the faces had two decent workers (and one was a jobber), and the heels didn't show off anything either. Thirty minutes of a lot of restholds.

----

Match #4:
Hulk Hogan (c), "Macho Man" Randy Savage (w/ Elizabeth), The Mighty Hercules, Hillbilly Jim & Koko B. Ware
(VS)
The Twin Towers (c) (w/ Slick), "Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase (w/ Virgil), Haku & The Red Rooster (w/ Bobby Heenan)

-Wuh? Holy hell, HILLBILLY JIM? No way was he still a regular guy by this point. At least Hogan's team now makes sense- Savage is a top-flight partner, and Herc & Jim are classic Hogan Buddies by this point (Herc was a "third Mega Power"). The Twin Towers were in their HUGE feud with the elite team here, and DiBiase still had a score to settle, and the other two are just Heenan Goons, so the teams make total sense. Hogan & Savage work the most horrifying overkill in wrestling history by ganging up on TERRY TAYLOR of all people, with the Big Elbow killing him. Heenan has the nerve to get MAD at Rooster for losing to them. Eye For an Eye gets Hillbilly Jim doused with Akeem's 747 Splash right after. Koko, next on the Jobber Pecking Order, eats the Bossman Slam to go out next. Uh-oh, both Towers used their finishers already, that's a bad sign.

DiBiase uses Virgil as a distraction, then finishes off Hercules with a Schoolboy, leaving the Powers pretty fucked, but then SAVAGE, being, y'know, a WRESTLING GENIUS, does the exact same thing to Teddy, sending HIM to the back. Nice booking there. THEN comes the lameness, though, as the Towers cheat and handcuff Hogan to the ropes. This leads to BOTH Twin Towers being disqualified. In the MAIN EVENT? Fuck YOU, WWF! Total bullshit. So Haku ends up being left alone with Macho Man, as he lays into him with his boring-ass offense (seriously, this guy moved nice and has a SWEET Superkick, but he was all KicknPunch Express aside from that) until Hogan finally breaks out, does the Usual Hogan Shit, and ends it for Haku.

SURVIVORS: The Mega Powers. Totally lame match with a stupid ending (beating HAKU should not end ANYONE'S night of a PPV). What was the point of dropping both Towers at once- at least give the fans a decent blow-off.

----

The Review: Wow, while the other show was awesome, this one kinda blew. Just WAY too many bullshit finishes, with the bookers suddenly being afraid to let anybody job. Some stuff was pretty OK (the Tag Team based match, mainly), but just count the BS: 1) Brown, 2) Beefcake, 3) Honky, 4) Harts, 5) Busters, 6) Rockers, 7) Demolition, 8.) Duggan, 9) Andre, 10) The Twin Towers. That is TEN. FRICKIN'. TIMES. TEN PEOPLE dropped to Count-Outs, DQs, Non-releasing holds, cheap finishes (not just cheating, which are okay finishes), etc. The fact that four of those were TAG TEAMS just makes it even worse. Stuff like that is totally uncalled for on PPVs (especially when there are only FOUR of them per year), and they totally leave a raw taste in my mouth when done on big shows. I mean, would it have killed Demolition to drop a legit fall? Did BOTH Towers need to be protected from losing (to the MEGA POWERS of all people?). Why did Honky/Beefcake have to both go out at once? Very disappointing show.

[Hal Jordan]

WWF Survivor Series (1988)-Okay, I think I JUST figured out Duggan's whole gimmick- they couldn't SAY it on TV at the time, but his gimmick was that he was ACTUALLY RETARDED. The pointless jingoism, the funny stomping around,

It's called goose-stepping.  It's actually Prussian in origin but it's commonly associated with the Nazis, and Duggan was a heel when he first started doing it.

[Sick Nick]

Duggan lacked the coordination to properly goose-step though. I'm with Jab, he just looked retarded. More like the Ministry of Silly Walks from Monty Python executed by somebody with Down's Syndrome.

[Sick Nick]

Oh, and that tag match rocked.

I remember Neidhart got a fucking nasty rope burn on his side at one point. Not sure whether the review picked up on that vital detail.

[Hal Jordan]

Duggan lacked the coordination to properly goose-step though. I'm with Jab, he just looked retarded.

He did it properly when he first started doing it in the early 80s.  So he could do it properly when he wanted to.  He just did an exaggerated cartoonish version in the cartoonish WWF.

[Jabroniville]

Oh, and that tag match rocked.

I remember Neidhart got a fucking nasty rope burn on his side at one point. Not sure whether the review picked up on that vital detail.

Oh, THAT's what that was. I saw it mid-match, but forgot about it for the review. Yeah, it was pretty gross. This big red line under his back-fat. With fifty-seven guys kicking around, it was hard to get a good view.

[Sick Nick]

He did it properly when he first started doing it in the early 80s.  So he could do it properly when he wanted to.  He just did an exaggerated cartoonish version in the cartoonish WWF.

I must admit, I liked it in squash matches when he'd be waiting for his jobber opponent to recover and would start doing aeroplane impressions.

[AverageSquid]

hahahaha fuck Duggan truly was retarded, it has taken you two to make me realise this

Never saw this show and, frankly, I'm glad though the tag match should be worth a look and its always nice to see vintage Blue Blazer

[Jabroniville]

WWF Survivor Series (1989)-

-Things are shaken up this time around, as we have five EIGHT-Man tags instead of four TEN-Man tags. This frees up some space, and lets everyone breathe a little; as well as making the matches shorter. The big news between the last show & now (since the Series takes place almost exactly halfway between WrestleManias) is that the Mega Powers Exploded, Macho is now an upper-midcard heel, Andre is now floating below the Main Event, the Warrior is still over as fuck, and we've still got good tag teams running around. Gone this time around are Hillbilly Jim, Patera, Harley Race, the Bulldogs, The Young Stallions (as anything but jobbers), Danny Davis, Ron Bass, Jim Brunzell & The Blue Blazer.

The main feud going on was, of course BAARRFFFFFF... I mean Hogan (vs) Zeus. Because "I played your enemy in a movie, but now I HATE YOU FOR REAL!" just spells money. And hey! It's the debut of TEAM NAMES. God I loved that shit- brought you right into the cartoony spectacle of it all when everyone was named for the team leader.

----

Match #1:
The Enforcers-
The Big Boss Man (c) (w/ Slick), Bad News Brown, Rick "The Model" Martel & The Honky Tonk Man (w/ Jimmy Hart)
(VS)
The Dream Team-
"The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes (c) (w/ Sapphire), Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake, Tito Santana & The Red Rooster

-Much tighter, neater teams at this point, but still, there's the filler. So the Dream & the Boss Man had a feud going on, and Martel/Santana post-Strike Force was still going on in the undercard, so both are dealt with here. Why the fuck would anyone put Brown on their team after last year, though? Honky Tonk & Rooster were just drained nobodies by this point, filling space. Santana (still so crushed by the team's split that he's wearing their tights) actually gets eliminated first, having his roll-up reversed by The Model. Wow, I was sure the Pecking Order would lead to poor Terry's elim. Then Bad News evens it up by walking out on his team the second year in a row, after taking an accidental shot from Boss Man. Geez, lazy booking guys, come on. Then Honky goes next, to a Beefcake High Knee, in a Shitty Move Pin. Wow, talk about a de-push. Then Beefcake puts out Martel with a Sunset Flip- Wow, that's some push, leading to teaming with Hogan at No-Holds Barred. Kinda begs the question of why he's on Dusty's team instead of his own.

Boss Man's right-fucked here, going one on three. I wonder where Akeem is- he'd job to Traylor at WMVI to put his face turn over. He gets a Sacrificial Lamb in poor Terry Taylor from the Boss Man Slam, but Dusty ends his night with a Body Press (!). Well, at least that's a legit-looking finish- not alot of guys can get up with THAT fat sack of waste on them.

SURVIVORS: Dusty Rhodes & Brutus Beefcake. Both are among the very top of the midcard, so it's unsurprising that neither would be doing the job here, and Boss Man was gonna get repackaged anyways, so why not? Some nice booking and OK action, but nothing overly great.

----

Match #2:
The King's Court-
"Macho King" Randy Savage (c) (w/ Sherri), The Canadian Earthquake, Dino Bravo & Greg "The Hammer" Valentine (w/ Jimmy Hart)
(VS)
The 4 x 4s-
"Hacksaw" Jim Duggan (c), Bret "Hit Man" Hart, The Mighty Hercules & "Rugged" Ronny Garvin

-Poor Savage, demoted to feuding with the retard and his parade of JTTS guys. Bret is pretty damn over here, though, getting notable cheers. I have no idea why the Hart Foundation was split up on this show, but Hart is feuding with Dino Bravo, Canada's Most Useless Man, in the very first inkling of an eventual Bret Hart push. Macho & Duggan are feuding over Savage winning the title of "King" from him- funny how that was kind of a "third Title", floating around the midcard ranks until Savage got it as a personal trophy. Earthquake is still pretty new as Jimmy Hart's New Big Deal, and Valentine/Garvin is a long-running feud from hell. So this is all very tight storyline-wise, which is nice. Earthquake squashes Hercules quickly with his Sit-Out Splash. Duggan puts away Valentine (now actively a JTTS) with the Three-Point Stance as he jumps over another face, in a cool spot, to get revenge.

Garvin whips out his ONE awesome spot, the Garvin Stomp, but falls to Dino's Shit Slam... I mean Side Slam. Duggan goes 1-on-3 after Bret falls to the Big Elbow from Savage after doing a big show-off exhibition of selling to get the fans used to him. Duggan of course gets Counted Out after Sherri trips him, because God Forbid the WWF loses the millions of dollars he draws by having him drop a fall when three-on-one.

SURVIVORS: Macho King, Earthquake & Dino Bravo. AGAIN Dino fucking survives a Series match. Fag. But a decisive win for the heels, making them all look much stronger. Not a bad match when Hart or Savage were in, but pretty bad otherwise.

----

Match #3:
The Million Dollar Team-
"The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase (c) (w/ Virgil), Zeus & The Powers of Pain (w/ Mr. Fuji)
(VS)
The Hulkamaniacs-
Hulk Hogan (c), Jake "The Snake" Roberts & Demolition

-Aaahhhhh now finally we're at the point where it's Main Guy, Mid Guy & Tag Team. I was missing out on that. So yeah, Hogan's feuding with Zeus, but ALSO DiBiase again (and he's still feuding with Jake Roberts), and the Powers/Demo feud is apparently still going SIX MONTHS after WrestleMania V. Actually, the Demos had just barely won the Tag Titles back from the Brain Busters (which begs the question as to why they aren't teaming with Warrior instead) in order to lose to the Colossal Connection, and I'm assuming the Powers are just another set of big guys. Zeus no-sells ALL of Hogan's offense, and then chokes the life out of him, drawing a cheap-ass DQ ending, so that NHB the PPV can blow it off. That better be the last screw-job in this match... Wow, Demolition must have cheesed SOMEBODY off, as Warlord beats Ax thanks to a DiBiase trip, and Smash eats a Flying Clothesline from Barbarian and goes out. Holy crap, those are the TAG CHAMPS. Considering all the guys who jobbed cheaply before this, that's just weird.

Aaannndddd by comparison, the Powers get cheaply ousted, because they hit a Spike Piledriver on Hogan and double-team the bejeezus out of him. A DQ on BOTH tag guys? Jesse Ventura nearly has a frickin' stroke at the announcer's table over THAT obvious favouritism (DiBiase goes 1-on-2 because of THREE DQS!?!) in a great bit of character from him. Jake Roberts nearly has DiBiase Pwned (the guy was nowhere near Main Event-level anymore), but Virgil takes the requisite DDT so the fans can go home happy, but eats the beautiful Fistdrop move and pinned with Feet On The Ropes to make it a non-Shitty Move Pin. Hogan of course runs in and dusts Ted off with the usual, and poses with the OTHER usual for minutes afterwards as a conquering hero. Yeah, beating one guy after paying Hebner off beforehand. You go Hulkster.

SOLE SURVIVOR: Hulk Hogan. Of course. CRAPPY match, full of bullshit DQs and general laziness, to avoid ANYONE jobbing. I mean, why protect the Powers of Pain? At least Zeus I understand. And having the Demos go out like jobbers was the exact opposite, and even weirder.

----

Match #4:
Roddy's Rowdies-
"Rowdy" Roddy Piper (c), "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka & The Bushwhackers
(VS)
Rude's Brood-
"Ravishing" Rick Rude (c), Mr. Perfect & The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers (w/ Jimmy Hart)

-Rude & Piper have been feuding since Roddy interfered in the Warrior/Rude IC Title match at SummerSlam, and Rude/Hennig were an easy team, since they were best buds in real life (and partners on two straight SSs now). Heenan is mysteriously absent from managing Rude. Crap did PIPER ever pick the worst team ever. A JTTS and the Tag Division's own personal comedy jobbers? Awful. Total comedy match at first, full of miscommunication from the heels and biting from the faces, and Superfly gets the Flying Splash on Jacques to eliminate him. The Rougeaus sure were jobbers by this point. Piper wipes out Raymond with the Piledriver. So the heels are 2 on 4, but hey, it's the BUSHWHACKERS, so it's pretty much tied. And sure enough, Curt Rolls Up Butch, and Rude Awakening hits Luke and we're even. Rude and Piper have the feud ongoing, so of course it's a lame Double Count-Out brawl to the back, leaving Perfect against Snuka. Well, Curt goes right out and has a good little mini-match, rolling through a Cross Body and hitting the Perfect Plex for the win.

SOLE SURVIVOR: Mr. Perfect, setting up his big push against Hogan in January. It was pretty much only half-decent when he was fighting Snuka at the end, and you can thank Curt for that.

----

Match #5:
The Ultimate Warriors-
The Ultimate Warrior (c), Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart & The Rockers
(VS)
The Heenan Family-
Andre the Giant (c), Arn Anderson, Haku & Bobby "The Brain" Heenan

-Yes, you're reading that right. See, it was gonna be the Brain Busters, culminating their feud against The Rockers, but they'd lost the tag belts just a week before, and Tully Blanchard was fired THAT NIGHT because of a failed drug test (though some disbelieve that), so HEENAN of all people was put in his place. And before you think any awesome drama can come out of this match, Warrior clotheslines Andre out of the ring straight away (just like in their stretch of House Show matches), and Andre gets counted out. WOW. Haku eliminates The Anvil pretty quickly with the Thrust Kick, seeing as how Jim wasn't getting no singles push at the time. Then it's basically AA/Haku vs. The Rockers for a bit, with Heenan occasionally tagging in for a single punch and then bailing immediately. Bobby actually gets the pin on Marty Jannetty after dropping some fists, thanks to AA doing the legwork. Arn is PISSED at Heenan for all this shit, especially when he has to do all the work. Shawn Michaels finishes Haku with a Flying Body Press, since he's getting a bigger push than Marty already by this point (tag teams always had a 'subtle' hint of which guy was a bigger & better partner). Arn nails his WICKED Spinebuster on Shawn to finally get rid of him, but then it's JUST the Warrior, and that goes like you'd expect. Arn, then Bobby, each get the usual Splash finish from him.

SOLE SURVIVOR: The Ultimate Warrior, the THIRD in a string of first-time-ever Sole Survivors in this event. Actually, this match was rather fun, as Heenan knows how to play the crowd and looked like a great chickenshit heel, and the action didn't suffer too bad (not much Warrior or Andre wrestling to drag it down). It makes up for the lack of drama of having the Team Captain go out seconds in, and a shitty wrestling manager take up a slot on the heel team. Odd note, in that Warrior poses for two seconds before running to the back, not milking it like Hogan would know to.

----

The Review: ......I dunno. The Main Event was good fun, and two of the matches were okay, but the Hogan one was a GIANT mess of DQs and bullshit, so was ruined. Rude Brood/Roddy's Rowdies was similarly marred by shitty workers & lame finishes, so this one kinda ends up like last year's. Considering how much I was looking forward to the SS DVDs, this is kinda disappointing. Though really, part of the joy of watching these old shows is seeing all the lame gimmicks and weird costumes all together, back when it was REALLY unusual to see Roddy Piper fighting one of the Rougeaus in any context.

[Sick Nick]

That last match was the one Heenan was whining about on the Warrior DVD when he was nearly killed by the gorilla press.

[Murmur]

Well the Warrior didnt have a reputation among the boys for making his moves look realistic for the crowd but totally safe for the Workers and Heenan while a former wrestler didnt really sign of for it either.

[Jabroniville]

WWF Survivor Series (1990)-

-This is a whacky show. Taking place during the onset of the "Dark Age", when Warrior was Champ and Hogan was stealing his thunder regularly with two mega-faces on top, there were some random feuds going on (Hogan/Quake was the big on-top feud at the time), the Legion of Doom had debuted, and there was some big stuff promised on this show... namely a "Mystery Partner" on The Million Dollar Team, and something was gonna finally break out of that "Mystery Egg" that'd been at all the shows for the past month. Both would of course have totally-equal impacts on the business. Oh, and there's also gonna be a big "Final Match" where all the night's survivors will fight each other, divided along Heel/Face lines (though nobody ever mentions those are the rules- it's kinda just implied with this company). Gone this time are Andre the Giant (finally retired), Zeus, Ron Garvin, The Brain Busters, Rick Rude, Bad News Brown, Akeem, Brutus Beefcake (his horrific injury) & The Red Rooster. New are Kerry Von Erich, the Legion of Doom, Tugboat, Power and Glory, and whoever this Mystery Partner is.

-Personal Note: This was the single Survivor Series show that was available at "First Choice Video" in my neighborhood, and so, along with the '90 Royal Rumble, it was rented about 9,000 times by me in a few years' time, and thus, has a nostalgic value for me far in excess of most other PPVs. Gorilla & "Rowdy" Roddy Piper are the commentary team, post-Ventura.

-Another note: The crowd is DEAD for this one. It's kinda indicative of the era (WM VII, one of the disappointing turn-out ones, is coming up), as the fans just don't care about Hogan anymore, and the new crowd of top faces & heels just don't have the mystique of Macho Man, Andre, Hogan & DiBiase.

----

Match #1:
The Warriors-
The Ulimate Warrior, "Texas Tornado" Kerry Von Erich & The Legion of Doom
(VS)
The Perfect Team-
Mister Perfect (c) (w/ Bobby Heenan) & Demolition (w/ Mr. Fuji)

-Holy fuck, check out these Death Tolls: Two on each team; half the total guys. The sheer amount of drug use you could surmise among The Warriors is NUTS, but what's REALLY scary is the fact that a later team would leave them in the dust. This seems like even odds, but Demolition had been SERIOUSLY de-pushed by this time, so there was absolutely no doubt that four of the most-over guys in the company weren't going over for this show. Perfect is of course allying with the "Three Man" version of the Demos, as Ax was having medical troubles (later revealed as an allergy to shellfish of all things), necessitating a third man being added in Brian Adams, aka "Crush". And yes, Ax certainly DOES look like shit here, all flabby and non-working out, so it isn't hard to see why they panicked. Von Erich had the BIG issue with Perfect at the time, so Warrior's just there to add to the Popularity Power. The Legion was pretty new to the company as well, and OF COURSE they were thrown against Demolition, because who ELSE would you feud them with than the guys that ripped their gimmick off?

Everyone trades off for a bit, with Perfect of course bumping all over the place, before Ax does a Sacrificial Fall to the Warrior's usual stuff. Demolition & the LOD then brawl around, roughing up the ref and causing general mayhem, getting DDQed (FOUR GUYS at once?), just to keep the feud going for the house show circuit. Damn, it always pissed me off that they not only half-assed these guys' eliminations (no Doomsday Device for a fan pop?) or even blew this feud off appropriately on PPV or a major show. See, Ax wasn't a "regular" wrestler at that time, so HE could drop the first fall just so we'd get that he was subtley the "worst" member of the team. This leaves Perfect alone against The Tassle Twins, so he's righteously fucked. He's able to get a Perfect Plex to put away Captain Cocaine... er, Von Erich (how sad is it that that offensive nickname could describe almost everyone here?), just to keep him a bit strong. He does another to the Warrior, but with NO offense done till that point, there's no way he was holding him down. Perfect sells his ass off for a bit and then goes down to the Usual fourteen minutes in.

SOLE SURVIVOR: The Ultimate Warrior. Well, some bullshit DQs end up ruining part of the festivities, but Hennig was essentially wrestling for his entire team, and there was some good brawling, so it gets a thumbs up. Not as awesome as it SHOULD have been, though.

----

Match #2:
The Million Dollar Team-
"Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase (c) (w/ Virgil), Rhythym and Blues (w/ Jimmy Hart) & a Mystery Partner (w/ Brother Love)
(VS)
The Dream Team-
"The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes (c) (w/ Sapphire), Koko B. Ware & The Hart Foundation

-So Ted comes on the mic right away, and debuts his new partner, a relative rookie named Mark Callaway, called The Undertaker. Bizarre to see Brother Love with the red-headed newbie. The crowd is kinda like "wwhuuuutttt?" with this guy, not quite 'getting' the fact that a huge heel isn't bouncing around and screaming a bunch. 'Taker makes a name for himself immediately, casually kicking the shit out of the Hit Man, then Koko B. Ware, annihilating him with the "Tombstone" (which Monsoon apparently knows the name of already). 'Taker tags out just for the hell of it, and you could TELL the crowd was into the character right away. So Rhythym & Blues go against the Harts for a bit, as Honky & Valentine's downward slide down the company is hilariously more apparent with every yearly PPV. Honky Tonk goes out easily to a Neidhart Powerslam. Then, in a weird spot, Neidhart gets tripped up by Virgil, and DiBiase just pins him with a simple move. Dusty comes back in to pound on DiBiase because they had the long-running feud (after Ted bought-out Sapphire at SummerSlam and before he DRAMATICALLY squashed Big Dust & his son at the Rumble, so he could feud with Virgil), but then 'Taker comes back in, and casually beats Dusty with a Flying Clothesline. Yeah, he's THAT dominant.

Good booking to have the soon-to-be-gone Dusty job out to the hot rookie, actually. And just so Mark doesn't get TOO much offense or get over-exposed, he gets counted out chasing Dusty to the back when he goes for Brother Love. And there's your next superstar, folks. And just so we all know WHICH Foundation member is the best, Bret gets to be personally showcased as the last remaining survivor of his team. He does his CLASSIC "I'm injured and need a rest- oh no wait I popped up and hit you" spot on Ted after he pins Valentine with a Small Package when he goes for his Figure-Four Leglock. Good booking again. Bret & Ted have a great little mini-match, going on for several minutes, before DiBiase rolls through a Cross-Body for a close pinfall, dramatically holding down a struggling Bret for the three.

SOLE SURVIVOR: Ted DiBiase. AWESOME booking here, as The Undertaker debuted as a monster, killing one jobber and one Upper Midcarder on his way out, to hurt no one important. Rhythym & Blues were tag jobbers against the Harts, so again their jobbing made sense. Then Bret get to be showcased, beating one guy and then wrestling really well with another, only going out to a nice reversal. I always loved "Reversal"-themed finishes, as it made one guy look like a great wrestler, and the other look good for only losing to a stroke of luck rather than getting pummelled and hit with a finisher.

----

Match #3:
The Vipers-
Jake "The Snake" Roberts (c), "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka & The Rockers
(VS)
The Visionaries-
"The Model" Rick Martel (c), The Warlord (w/ Slick) & Power and Glory

-Oh, it's the early-90s era all right, because here's Warlord in his post-Powers get-up with the half-mask and "W" Staff, and Power & Glory, jobbers Hercules & Paul Roma, repackaged as a potential top-flight tag team. And yeah, The Vipers must've allowed some lucky Hartford-based drug dealer to put his kids AND grandkids through college in one night. Can you IMAGINE the kind of windfall he got? This match is basically themed around Roberts & Martel's nasty "You Blinded Me!" feud, which would've been a long-time classic if it didn't end at that god-awful WrestleMania match. The Rockers bump like madmen to put the Heel Team over, and Martel frequently runs like a pussy from Jake every time he steps in. The Warlord uses his terminal fucking hugeness to put Jannetty away relatively quickly with a Powerslam as Marty comes off the top rope. Nice move there. Shawn comes in, and Warlord backdrops him. There's some brawling for a few minutes, and then Shawn finally comes back down, having caught the Earth's gravitational pull once again. Yeah, that was a big backdrop. Martel copies Ted's roll-through of Jimmy the Crackhead's Cross-Body and finishes him off. Yeah, the faces are pretty screwed, even against these comparative jobbers, since most of them are still in the beginnings of their pushes. Shawn does fairly well (ie. he sells alot and takes an ass-beating), showcasing HIM for the new generation, because even then the company realized how good he & Bret were, but falls to the SWEETEST TAG MOVE IN HISTORY, the Power-Plex. Nice stuff. Jake is of course alone, gets beaten up for a bunch, but gets the obligatory DDT on Warlord to keep the fans happy, before getting Counted Out chasing Martel to the back. Well, it's a JAKE appearance, so you need someone to get DDT'd. It's all the poor guy had as a worker.

SURVIVORS: The Visionaries. That's right, the WHOLE TEAM survived, a Survivor Series first. What's funny is that even though it was a one-sided shit-kicking mainly, it was well-booked enough that you could totally buy it, as nobody got squashed. Snuka was pure jobber by this point, but got a good roll-through loss, Marty just got overpowered (and against that beast the Warlord, you could buy that), Shawn got double-teamed, and by that point, Jake was just screwed. Mainly good for just the bumping.

----

Match #4:
The Hulkamaniacs-
Hulk Hogan (c), The Big Boss Man, "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan & Tugboat
(VS)
The Natural Disasters-
Earthquake (c) (w/ Jimmy Hart), The Barbarian (w/ Bobby Heenan), Dino Bravo & Haku

-This totally looks like Workrate Hell right here, so you can be forgiven for thinking this is going to blow. The Hogan Buddies has now shifted to the top-flight face Boss Man & Hacksaw, plus newbie Fred Ottman as "Tugboat", a character so ridiculous that he actually gets BOOED on his way down to the ring. Haha, OUCH. Haku, at this point just collecting a paycheck, comes in and gets Boss Man Slammed ridiculously quickly, because Ray Traylor was OVER at this point, yes he was. Jim the Retard is of course gone because he nails Earthquake with his 2x4 as soon as he gets upset. You ass- why would anyone ever pick Duggan for their team? HE ALWAYS DOES THIS. Hulk Hogan breaks my mind by using a SMALL PACKAGE to get rid of Dino Bravo (who thankfully is GONE after this show- Jesus be praised), but then Boss Man falls to some chicanery distractions and that Elbow Earthquake usually misses with (who falls to a regular ELBOW? Well, it's a 450-lb. guy and Survivor Series, the odds were against him). Earthquake & Tugboat brawl to the outside and get Counted Out for our Gay Finish of the Match. Well, they needed 'Quake strong for Hogan, despite already LOSING TO HIM at the last huge PPV. This leaves Hogan with The Barbarian. Yeah, may as well just sit back and read something while Hogan disposes of the heel Powerhouse with the Usual. Interesting how every match is almost exactly 15 minutes tonight.

SOLE SURVIVOR: Hulk Hogan, of course. And amazingly, this match DOESN'T SUCK. They keep it short, use quick tags, and guys go out in logical form (sure DQs and Count-Outs are kinda lame, but in the SS I can understand why they wouldn't want top-level guys going out super-quickly). Remarkably good considering who's involved.

-Macho King comes down to cut a promo on Warrior. Why DID he never get a Title Shot, anyways? It really does seem like Warrior was ducking him.

----

Match #5:
The Mercenaries-
Sgt. Slaughter (c) (w/ General Adnan), Boris Zhukov & The Orient Express (w/ Mr. Fuji)
(VS)
The Alliance-
Nikolai Volkoff (c), Tito Santana & The Bushwhackers

-Oh My God, REALLY? NIKOLAI VOLKOFF is leading a team? And BORIS ZHUKOV is still kicking in the WWF? I had no idea he'd actually lasted this long. So yeah, Slaughter cuts a HORRIBLE promo over his lame "military drum-beat" theme song for what feels like fifty goddamned years in the aisleway, bitching out American soldiers stationed in the Gulf One-Sided Ass-Kicking (it isn't a War unless TWO countries are fighting!), and giving praise to his leader, Saddam Hussein. Yeah, save the racist angles for AFTER the conflicts are over, guys, as this just came across as A) pandering, B) needy, and C) disrespectful. I feel like I'm in Jobber Hell here, but at least they keep it quick. Tito Santana wipes out Boris the Jobber in two seconds with the Flying Burrito, The Bushwhackers wipe out Sato with the Battering Ram another minute later (remember, Sato is the shitty actually Japanese guy, Kato is the white roided guy who was pretty good), and Pat Tanaka falls to ANOTHER Flying Forearm from Tito in record time. Slaughter is alone against the entire team, but really, it's Nikolai Jobkoff & The Bushjobbers, so he shouldn't really be worried. A plain ol' Elbowdrop gets a Shitty Move Pin on Nikolai, a Gutbuster takes out Luke, and Butch dies to the Common Clothesline. Wow, what a bunch of pussies. Then everything grinds to a damn halt as Slaughter SLLLOOWWWLLY uses his shitty AWA-mid-80s offense on Tito, working him over. Yeah, no wonder they threw the Title on this guy, huh? He uses the Iraqi Flag and hits the Camel Clutch, but the ref actually saw in, and so DQs the Sarge.

SOLE SURVIVOR: Tito Santana. A bizarre ending (and victor) to a bizarre match. They may as well have called it "Jobber Mayhem", because this was just awful. Quickie brawling and immediatley seguing to finishing maneuvers replaced any hint of counter-wrestling, booking and wearing people down, and so you had SIX GUYS made out to be worthless jobbers, and everyone but Tito looked weak as hell. Fast, then really damn slow.

-And just when you thought an interview segment couldn't get any more meaningless or awful than Slaughter's just was, in comes the Big Egg, as Mean Gene is there to see the thing crack. And Ohhhh My God they debut the Gobbledy Gooker. Yes, a man in a TURKEY COSTUME was their "Big Surprise", and Roddy Piper desperately tries to pass this off as the most hilarious thing he's ever seen. The crowd is notably not even LAUGHING, and in fact you hear some boos. This amazingly goes on for TEN MINUTES in the ring, as the Gooker dances, plays weird music, and rolls around, convincing Mean Gene to tumble around with him. Holy Fucking GOD what did they do this for? I mean, Hector Guerrero was apparently a really good worker- and this clearly wasn't meant to be a real wrestler or anything, so why stick him in the costume? Was Vince just amusing himself for no reason, and had some time to kill on the PPV?

---

Match #6:
The Face Team-
Hulk Hogan (c), The Ultimate Warrior & Tito Santana
(VS)
The Heel Team-
"The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase (c) (w/ Virgil), "The Model" Rick Martel, The Warlord & Power and Glory

-So for our Main Event, the already-wrestled faces are 3-5 against DiBiase and The Visionaries, to build some drama. And everyone goes into OVERDRIVE to get this done in ten minutes. Tito Santana drops The Warlord of all people in a few seconds of bell-ringing with the Flying Forearm. Woah, weren't they even gonna PUSH that guy? Santana, being the obviously dead-weight jobber of the team by this point in his career, tries the same with DiBiase, but a Hot-Shot puts him out. The faces just commence DEMOLISHING the heels at this point, with Hogan using the Requisite Survivor Series Clothesline to get rid of Paul Roma, and Rick Martel bails on his team like a coward (to keep him strong as a Midcard Heel, I guess) in a typical display of French Cowardice. Then Hogan & Warrior utilize their Usual Stuff, taking out DiBiase with a Legdrop, and Hercules with a Warrior Splash. Odd- I would've reversed it so at least the talented heel would've taken the final fall. It just seems bizarre that shitty heels like Barbarian, Hercules & Haku were always left to take the final fall in matches against top-level heels.

SURVIVORS: Hulk Hogan & The Ultimate Warrior, to no-one's surprise. Really barely even a match, just a display of everyone's finishing moves.

----

The Review: You know what- I still love this PPV. There's as much bullshit this year around than in the others (Demolition, LOD, Taker, Jake, Model, Duggan, Earthquake & Tugboat- TEN GUYS), but it's spread out enough so it doesn't ruin any individual match. Most guys taking decent falls, and everything was actually logically and decently booked. I can BUY that the Demos & Legion would get DQ'd after breaking the rules and just violently fighting- that's practically their M.O.! Model ran 'cause he's a pussy. 'Quake needed to be kept strong as a top-level heel, etc. The last match was a waste, and THANK GOD for Fast-Forward during the three overlong promos, but the first three matches are actually pretty good, quick, well-booked showcases of early-90s stuff, and there's some very good workrate from the Hogan Buddies and Bret/DiBiase.

[AverageSquid]

I always felt a great affinity with you Jabber, knowing that we share a great love for SS and RR 90. I too, as a young boy, would watch one of them on VHS pretty much daily. The Warriors remain arguably the greatest Survivor Series team ever

[Jabroniville]

Part of me wonders just how much my love for this show is nostalgia, since it's got so many of the classic "Lame Jobbings" that Survivor Series should have more of a rep for.

[Crab Master]

Good job as usual.


I can't comment on this one seeing the only two SS I've watched where SS 95, and SS 98.

[Sick Nick]

Heh, Jab caught Warlord's King Of All Backdrops on Michaels. He got some serious height on that thing, as I alluded to earlier.

Cool show. My first WWF PPV, I think.

[Jabroniville]

I missed it the first time around (since it was just a transitional thing), but went back and re-watched it on your comment. Yeah, it was pretty damn big. A combo of Michaels jumping and Warlord putting his roids into it made for a hell of a bump.

[Sick Nick]

Haku threw a BEEOOTIFUL dropkick in that match. Deserved a mention because you didn't see the big Tongan fly very often.

I'm pretty sure that 'Widowmaker' Barry Windham was supposed to compete at the previous Survivor Series - I remember seeing his picture on the back of the VHS copy but I think he went back to the NWA beforehand. Not sure who he replaced although I vaguely recall him being pictured with Boss Man's team. I've no idea why Akeem wasn't there.

[Murmur]

I wonder why Randy "Macho Man" Savage didnt compete.

[HalloweenJack]

Haku threw a BEEOOTIFUL dropkick in that match. Deserved a mention because you didn't see the big Tongan fly very often.

I'm pretty sure that 'Widowmaker' Barry Windham was supposed to compete at the previous Survivor Series - I remember seeing his picture on the back of the VHS copy but I think he went back to the NWA beforehand. Not sure who he replaced although I vaguely recall him being pictured with Boss Man's team. I've no idea why Akeem wasn't there.

i think Quake replaced Barry. he was on Savage's team

Akeem was replaced by Bad News i thought. may explain why they did the same thing with him. could be wrong on that one, but Quake was Barry's replacement

[Jabroniville]

Hm, yes Wikipedia does in fact state that Earthquake replaced "Widowmaker" in the Savage match (that was Windham's short-lived gimmick), and Brown replaced Akeem (who must've been injured or something).

[Murmur]

Apparently Blackjack Mulligan and Kendall Windham(Barrys father and brother)were looking at possible jailtime for counterfeiting charges and both men were found by Federal Authorities to have close to $500,000 in phony $20's.They both spent 24 months in prison due to a plea agreement.Barry asked to be released due to personal reasons and they released him.He apparently didnt wrestle again till March of 1990 in All Japan and returned to WCW in May of that year.

[Sick Nick]

Ah, this was around that time, eh? I'd heard of the counterfeiting charges before.

I knew Bad News replaced Akeem, thinking about it. When I read Jab's report and he talked about Bad News going out for a second year running by losing his rag at his team and walking off, I remembered he was a last minute replacement - nice nod to the previous year IMO plus it was a good, in-character for Bad News to lose without doing the job. Bad News didn't seem to stare at the lights much at all in the WWF.

I'm guessing Akeem was injured.

With regard to Savage and SurSer 90, I don't know what was up with his not being there but most fans at the time thought that DiBiase's surprise team-member would be the Macho King.

[Propeus The Fallen]

I can't remember Bad News being pinned except for one match with Bret Hart. Same with Earthquake who never had his shoulders down it seemed (Yoko comes to mind for him.)

[HalloweenJack]

i think Hogan and Warrior pinned Earthquake. well i know Hogan did

[Sick Nick]

At house shows. Sid pinned him too.

[Jabroniville]

WWF Survivor Series (1991)-

-Wow, a WAY different crowd of guys for this one. Undertaker's now a main eventer, Ric Flair is around, Piper's back as a regular guy, IRS, the Natural Disasters, Nasty Boys & Beverly Brothers are in the tag scene, Bret's gone solo, Mr. Perfect's retired, etc. Dino Bravo is FINALLY gone (Glory Glory Hallelujah!), as are Snuka, Honky Tonk, Paul Roma, The Ultimate Warrior (big one there), the Orient Express, Zhukov & Volkoff, all of Demolition and Dusty Rhodes. That's a REALLY big roster switch-over. It's actually much more refreshing and interesting a group of wrestlers, but the company was really in the shitter around this era, as Hogan's schtick was TIIIIIIRED at this point, and

----

-We start with the AWESOME clip of Jake Roberts having his Cobra bite down on Macho Man's arm. Dang, I don't care how devenomed that thing was, that was gruesome. Elizabeth of course does the requisite screaming/crying, which makes it all the better, and shows how effective a 'gimmick' she was for Savage.

Match #1:
"The Heel Gods":
Ric Flair (w/ Mr. Perfect), "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase (w/ Sherri), The Mountie (w/ Jimmy Hart) & The Warlord (w/ Slick)
(VS)
"The Rowdy, British Pinstriped Hitmen":
"Rowdy" Roddy Piper, Bret "Hit Man" Hart, "British Bulldog" Davey-Boy Smith & Virgil

-Manages have to go to the back this time around (save Sherri, who gets kissed by Piper and flees). Goddamn, that is one HELL of a heel team right there. And Warlord. Flair was only a few months into the WWF at this point, and had partially-dropped the Hogan feud to go after old NWA enemy Roddy Piper first, and assembled most of the 'smart' heel types in the company to his side, while Piper had the Plucky Undercard Face Squad going for him. The Detroit crowd is HOT for this one, too, unlike last year. Everyone's wrestling pretty well, as it's VERY up-tempo, especially since they keep The Warlord right the hell out of it. TONS of cheating from the heels (with Bobby Heenan bringing his insane bout of Flair Bias to the table, which is always brilliant and entertaining), and tons of no-selling and "My offense is better than yours because I'm a selfish worker" from Piper, of course. Virgil actually gives a very good accounting of himself, showing up Davey-Boy & Jacques Rougeau as workers here. Too bad he never got the push he deserved. Hart & Mountie have an issue, so they go for a bit. Hart does an infamous "Loud call" during the match (though I once heard Test SCREAM "SIDE SLAM!" during a RAW), but I missed it talking to my roommate I think. First fall is surprisingly Davey-Boy, who gets nailed by Flair off the top rope while he's pwned The Mountie, and he gets pinned. A few minutes later, Bret returns the favor, drilling The Warlord during a Full Nelson on Virgil, and the big guy goes out. Good booking there.

They go for a shit-load of time by this point. But then, in a REALLY gay moment, the entire group of guys enters the ring while Flair's been dumped, and brawl to hell while the refs scream for them to stop. It ends up being a massive DDQ, removing everybody who was in the ring for unnecessary roughness... leaving Ric Flair the only survivor.

SOLE SURVIVOR: Ric Flair. Okay, if they'd have kept going, and had most of the guys drop legit falls, I would've given this **** in a heartbeat. As it was, it was a very well-wrestled, long match (ending at 0:37 from the beginning of the PPV), with two good finishes, but then a HORRIBLY lame ending that ruin the whole deal.

-Aw man, now we get the Savage promo. This whole show is basically doing nothing but leading towards This Tuesday in Texas, which was a notorious attempt by Vince & Co. to make us buy into the concept of PPVs on non-Sundays, adding to the initial "Four a Year". How did that go, you ask? Well, how many PPVs do they have on non-Sundays? 'Nuff said. Of course, they'd manage to put another couple PPVs on the calendar eventually.
----

Match #2:
"Team Heel Jobber Workrate Nightmare":
Colonel Mustafa (w/ General Adnan), The Berzerker, Skinner & Hercules
(VS)
"The Suicidal, Drug-Addicted, Retarded, Traitorous Matadors"
"The Texas Tornado" Kerry Von Erich, "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan, Sgt. Slaughter & "El Matador" Tito Santana

-Oh Gawd, somebody rescue me from Jobber Hell! PLEASE! This is like a treasure trove of shitty 1991's worst booking ideas. Without Slaughter, Mustafa's just a very pregnant-looking Iron Shiek. Berzerker's just a generic big-guy worker doing a Bruiser Brody rip-off gimmick, but as a comedy guy doing silly bumps. Skinner's an old vet Steve Keirn basically being a Brooklyn Brawler-level guy, and Hercules was just riding out the remainder of his contract until he was gone. The faces are the very-dated Duggan, Von Erich (who apparently hadn't killed himself yet), Santana in the twilight of his career, doing a Matador gimmick after he was LONG done as a contender, and Slaughter, in the face turn that NOBODY bought.

Shitty, shitty action here, only Santana & Skinner could really work by this point, and both are jobbers. Slaughter ends Mustafa pretty quickly with your standard Survivor Series Clothesline Finish. Crowd still doesn't buy the guy who BETRAYED THE NATION a year ago as a face. God, that was poorly-booked all-around, but they kinda HAD to try (he was actually a nice guy in real life, and agreed to do the gimmick as a favour to guarantee an office job... I'd say he DESERVED it for being put through that mess). El Matador finishes Hercules with El Paseo de Muerte. Ohhhh so THAT's that finisher. See, I only have Santana's PPV matches as a history of the guy in my DVDs, and since HE NEVER, EVER WINS ON PPV, I'd never seen that move fully-applied. You know you suck when you're a big guy, and you go out to the jobber's finisher. Lame Cradle by Slaughter beats Skinner, and that leaves Berzerker to bump like a madman against the faces (um, 'Zerker, you're HUGE. You should be no-selling and just tossing guys around), and loses to the Three-Point Stance after a Duggan/Traitor Double-Team. Wow, what a crappy match.

SURVIVORS: Von Erich, Duggan, Slaughter & Santana. Yeah, the ENTIRE TEAM SURVIVED. You know these guys were supposed to be the Jobber Heels when you just get an absolutely one-sided ass-kicking from the suicidal drug addict, the retard and the two worst gimmick turns ever.

----

Match #3:
WWF World Title Match:
Hulk Hogan (vs) The Undertaker (w/ Paul Bearer)-
Oh yeah, back when THIS was going on. Hogan's Title run had basically tanked, and the company was losing business, but hey, the Undertaker was the most devastating-looking Monster Heel arguably in the history of the entire sport (seriously, who comes close? Vader only fought shittier competition like Sting & Luger who both couldn't lick Hogan's boots in terms of cred. Big Show jobbed too much. I'd say Andre is the only one near Callaway). I remember asking my dad who the "Toughest wrestler in REAL LIFE" was, and he replied without question that Taker HAD to be the toughest. You can't fuck with that kind of cred. I talk alot because this match SUUUUUCKS. You know the last guy you want to fight the slow, plodding, no-selling Hogan? The slow, plodding, no-selling Undertaker. And what's this doing mid-PPV anyways? I know it has a downer ending, but COME ON GUYS. Clearly this is the main event. Hogan actually pops up from the Tombstone, the most devastating move in history by that point (trumping EVEN THE DDT), and fights back, but Ric Flair runs to ringside and we get the infamous Chair spot where he puts it under the second Tombstone, and Hogan goes down with a crippling injury and loses. The Babyface Pop Undertaker got for this is absolutely HUGE, I should point out. And this company had the BALLS to suggest to us fans that Hogan was still relevant & popular? New WWF Champion, and eternal credibility for The Undertaker (see? Even with cheating, he was made FOR LIFE by this- think of what mini-reigns for DiBiase & Perfect could've done for them).

-Note: We spend nearly every waking moment of the rest of the show talking about "This Tuesday in Texas", having Jake Roberts promos against Savage (where Jake, being a Godlike Heel, announces that it doesn't matter that Reptiles are banned from ringside, because HE's the dangerous one anyways. Oh yeah, and that he's so evil because he enjoys it), and Hogan/Taker stuff, featuring everyone bitching. Jack Tunney signs Taker/Hogan for the next PPV, which led to the "KOing the Unpopular Jack Tunney" spot and the Title being held Vacant till the Royal Rumble.

----

Match #4:
"The Stinky Purple Guys":
The Nasty Boys (w/ Jimmy Hart) & The Beverly Brothers (w/ The Genius)
(VS)
"The Jobbing Guys, Plus Future Star":
The Rockers & The Bushwhackers

-They had enough tag teams now to pull off an entire "Tag Team Guy" match, but wow, that's a goddamned bad line-up. The 'Whackers were obviously meant just for little kids, but even as a child I knew they were jobbers, no question. I wonder if that was the WWF teaching children about failure? The Rockers had maximized their credibility by this point, but since we were in the Guns 'n' Roses & Nirvana era of popular rock music, they were TOTALLY irrelevant, and couldn't have been expected to go on to be Tag Champs, despite their popularity. The Nasties were just crap, and completely fell apart after Transitioning the Titles to the Legion of Doom, and the Beverlies were never more than jobbers either. The match is kind of a mess, and overly-long given the point. Another Shitty Move Pin by Knobs puts out Luke. The Beverly Bounce gets rid of Butch shortly after, leaving The Rockers fucked. A Hope Spot sees Shawn Michaels pin Beau Beverly (always the shittier one, as every team HAD TO have a "shittier" guy for some reason) with a Backslide, but then it's over, as Marty accidentally nails Shawn with a Nasty foot during a Bodyslam, resulting in Shawn getting pinned. They tease a break-up spot (which every single fan in attendance knew it was only a matter of time- and it'd get exacerbated until the Barber Shop Incident), but make up. So Marty's three on one, and Knobs rolls Marty over during a Small Package on Sags, and the heels win.

SURVIVORS: The Nasty Boys & Blake Beverly. I actually like this booking, as it's more "realistic" to have only one member of a tag team go out, as in it's more unpredictable. All the booking made sense, except for giving such shitty workers TWENTY-THREE MINUTES to go out there and stink up the house. The Rockers were great workers, and the Beverlies were slightly above-average, but the Nasties/Sheepfuckers brought this one way down.

----

Match #5:
"Two Dead Guys & One Living Guy":
The Big Boss Man & The Legion of Doom
(VS)
"One Dead Guy & Two Living Guys":
Irwin R. Schyster & The Natural Disasters (w/ Jimmy Hart)

-This was originally another Eight-Man and a serviceable Main Event with Savage & Roberts on the two teams, but with Savage being bitten by the Cobra, he was unable to compete, giving us an elimination Six-Man. Boss Man & I.R.S. had an issue at this point, as did the tag teams. The match is boring, sloppy and full of power moves. Boss Man goes down cheaply to the Briefcase, but Typhoon gets the same shortly afterwards and goes out. Earthquake blames I.R.S. & bails on him (I think that eventually was what turned the Disasters face), leaving him alone, and a Flying Clothesline (not even the Doomsday Device?) ends the match after he tries to bail & is stopped by the Boss Man.

SURVIVORS: The Legion of Doom. Crap match.

---

The Review: Aw, God. I was looking SO GOOD at first with all those good workers in the first match. But then the second was just Bottom-Feeding Jobber Hell, the tag-based match was too long, and the last match was just pointless filler. Hogan/Taker stank like feces as well, though it had a good ending (you don't often get to see Hulk Hogan lay down for anyone). The ENTIRETY of the show was basically spent pimping the next big This Tuesday in Texas PPV, which of course bombed, so this whole thing was stupid and pointless. It would be such a failure that they'd drop the "Survival" concept entirely (save one match I think) by next year, replacing it with a regular PPV, where it would alternate off-and-on over the years.

[Jabroniville]

WWF Survivor Series (1992)-

-And now it's another huge switch. Hogan is gone, Macho Man briefly replaced him, Undertaker's a face, and now Bret Hart is the sudden World Champion, been given the belt finally by Vince after years of being jerked around the midcard. It was a very dark era for the company, however, as it's all over this show- the Old Guard have passed, and there's only a couple really big stars on top, so everyone's feuding beneath their level. Oh yes, and this is the first VERY different Survivor Series, all but COMPLETELY dropping the concept of the earlier shows, providing a more generic PPV with one elimination match only. This REALLY bugged me as a kid, as this show was all ABOUT the elimination matches, but after last year's disastrous show (and shitty ratings), the company figured they needed some kind of major boost, and a dwindling roster helped them make the decision. It would be a short change, however, as the very next year would be back to normal.

-The Reverend Slick starts us off with a sermon, saying nothing much of not. He says "Uh!" after every sentence, like he was Triple-H & a TV Preacher's bastard child.

----

Match #1:
High Energy (vs) The Headshrinkers (w/ Afa)-
Hah, what do we have here? Samu & Fatu as the original 'Shrinkers, going against Owen Hart in Vince's SECOND try at him with a tag team, after the New Foundation floundered in record time. Koko B. Ware was entirely a JTTS bottom-feeder by this point, so the team was clearly never gonna go anywhere. Curiously, though these tights seem designed to hide Koko's Prodigious Black Ass, they were Owen's first. The match is pretty one-sided for the Headshrinkers, and not very good, but Owen gets some good pops for his high-flying. Samu catches Owen off the top with a Powerslam, and the Flying Splash ends things. A pretty dominant showing for the then-new Monster Heel Tag Team.

----

Match #2:
Nightstick on a Pole Match:
The Big Boss Man (vs) Nailz-
OK, this was an AWESOME angle, with some giant motherfucker coming out of the crowd after a jobber match and ANNIHILATING the Boss Man with his own nightstick, beating the shit out of him and leaving him for dead. It was revealed he was "Nailz", a convict at Boss Man's old prison, who claimed to be brutalized by the guards, and now he was out for REVENGE after escaping. Pictures of Boss Man's bruised body were shown on Superstars leading up to this, which I remember pretty well. God, Nailz was scary. His pre-match promo is a mess (who gave him five minutes?), but he's huge, ugly as sin, and generally LOOKS dangerous. The match is pretty bad, with LOTS and lots of punching and choking. Boss Man gets the nightstick, Nailz reverses a pounding with his own, and Boss Man catches an out-of-nowhere Boss Man Slam to end Nailz. Happy ending for the crowd, but this feud basically neutralized Nailz before he could really get over. A feud with The Undertaker was teased when they stared across from each other after some jobber matches, but he accused Vince of trying to rape him (seriously) and was gone from the company shortly after this.

----

Match #3:
Tatanka (vs) Rick "The Model" Martel-
Oh GAWD, this feud! Classic "Guy's first year in the company" stuff, as Tatanka was saddled with the lameoid Martel act while he was still undefeated, and they go about the usual "You stole my shit!" feud. This I believe caps it off, but the match is boring as shit. Tatanka is nothing but chops on offense, and Martel just controls with eleven minutes of rest-holds while the crowd dozes and Doink the Clown (then unnamed) shows up at ringside to play pranks on the little kids. Man, Martel was the laziest guy ever for his talent level (he was really good when he tried). Tatanka reverses some stuff for an easy Samoan Drop win.

----

Match #4:
"Macho Man" Randy Savage & Mr. Perfect (vs) Ric Flair & Razor Ramon-
Now this was an oddity, full of weird stuff that only happens in wrestling. So Ric Flair & Perfect take the World Title from Savage, right? By injuring his knee at SummerSlam, they capitalize and do the "KO from leg pain" finish during a big house show match, and Flair is champion. The Ultimate Warrior comes to Savage's aid, and IT'S ON at Survivor Series, with Flair picking newbie heel Ramon as his partner. But Warrior flakes out/is caught 'roiding up during the MAJOR crackdown era in the company, so he's out. Macho Man asks MISTER PERFECT of all people to be his partner (for no adequately explained reason, by my recollection), and Perfect actually ACCEPTS after Heenan laughingly tells Savage that Perfect answers to HIM. We get a some CHOICE snivelling and begging from Heenan, the MASTER of that sort of thing ("Oh no Perfect, please don't do it, I'll do anything you ask..."). So now the match is on. Both teams cut great promos earlier, with Flair announcing that he's sick of being in Perfect's shadow, and Perfect retorting that Flair was nothing without him. Curiously, the World Title was off Flair within a month, so now everybody's feuding with no belt involved.

On to the match. The crowd is INSANE for this, as Savage is a natural crowd favourite (it's weird to see after all these years that he was still the most over guy in wrestling here), Perfect is getting newfound praise, and Flair is just EGGING the crowd on. Flair gets his ass kicked, but the heels eventually take over on Savage, kicking the shit out of him in slow, plodding fashion for several minutes while Randy does his awesome selling. Perfect teases just bailing on him when the going gets rough, going heel again, but actually stops to listen to the crowd, and comes back onto the apron for the Hot Tag. Unusual booking there- could've made Hennig too much of a heel to fix, but it worked alright. Ramon is just nothing at this point, I should add- having nothing to over except some weak power offense. How did he go so long in the business without gaining skill till the Clique came in? Perfect Plexes all around, but the heels are DQ'd for shenanigans while Savage sells, but then he makes a HUGE comeback with a chair. LAME finish, but hot ending angle. There was no reason at all to not go for a clean fall here- it's a TAG TEAM MATCH, and a huge grudge deal. The Flair/Savage feud is over at this point (with no revenge for Randy, really), switching to Flair/Perfect, and Razor floated in this weird upper-midcard area (taking on Bret in a weak Royal Rumble match) for several months before becoming an authentic midcard guy. Not a BAD match, but not overly great, as most of it was slow. Very good crowd psychology, though.

----

Match #5:
Yokozuna (w/ Mr. Fuji) (vs) Virgil-
Oh, goodbye, Virgil. This would be around his last hurrah with the company, putting over the new Monster Heel. At the time, I had no idea Yoko was EVER gonna be pushed that big. I just figured him for another big guy. Virgil does good stuff with his quick movements, as I think about what Jake Roberts said about "good all-around guys" getting shafted in the business, because they made the ideal Jobbers, selling so well but looking pretty good. Poor Virgil fits that description EXACTLY. Yoko kills Virg's offence with the slightest movement because of his weight (which was ONLY 500 pounds by this point!), hitting all his usual stuff. A last hope spot as he schoolboys the Fat Man from behind, but gets sat on (in what looked like an accident), then Banzaii Dropped. Virgil is shown injured backstage, warning Champ Bret Hart about this new monster sensation. And I scoffed at the time.

----

Match #6:
"Rich & Richer"
Money, Incorporated (w/ Jimmy Hart) & The Beverly Brothers (w/ The Genius)
(VS)
"Team Fatass"
The Natural Disasters & The Nasty Boys

-This is our one and only 'classic' Survivor match on the show- though it's "Whole Team Goes Out on a Fall" rules. Funny to consider this booking- the Beverlies are just jobbers here, and the Disasters are being phased out. The Nasties are FACES amazingly enough- having been through the "WE were supposed to be your top guys!" feud with old manager Jimmy Hart, who preferred Money, Inc. Those kinds of pushes never work out properly- it's hard to get behind someone who was treated like a piece of shit and dumped by his old stable (see Orton, Randy's failed face run). Disasters & Nasties both have the same issue with Jimmy, actually. The match is pretty slow but not overly horrible, as the heels control with slow stuff and the fat guys manage not to screw anything up. Earthquake puts away Beau Beverly with his Sit-Down Splash as I consider the weirdness of Beau & Blake being a generic AWA tag team, then a WWF Fake Brother Jobber team, then going on to be jobbers in the "ANYONE from WWF's history can be hired- just look at Jim Powers" era WCW, but STILL teaming up. Weird fate.

Money Inc. is basically FUCKED because of the weird rules, but Ted (in his sweet white outfit, which he should've used more) controls regardless, doing more resthold stuff. Some cheapness lets IRS pin Typhoon with his feet on the ropes (though he mispositioned so he's really got an anklehold on them while holding Fred Ottman's thigh- so the pin looks pretty weak), but Sags rolls him up from behind while he celebrates, giving the Nasties a quick win.

SURVIVORS: The Nasty Boys. Totally slow, plodding match, but not overly bad or anything. The booking was smart until the very end- if the issue was Nasties/Money Inc., why not push that and have a bigger match between them here? As it stands, the Nasty Boys weren't long for the company (pay issues, and their lack of push- they NEVER had a shot against the hot Rich Asshole Heels), so this tag team era is kind of forgettable.

---

Match #7:
Coffin Match:
The Undertaker (w/ Paul Bearer) (vs) Kamala (w/ Harvey Wippleman & Kim Chee)-
Taker feuded with this guy for a LONG god damned time. Kamala does good "Bug Eyed Terror" expressions, I'll give him that. There's absolutely no drama whatsoever here, as Kamala was booked as weak from Day One, being terrified beyond belief of the Taker (running away at SummerSlam), and this match is basically 100% Callaway, as he no-sells all of Kamala's hit, and casually destroys him. Fat Splashes do nothing, Urn hit, and Kamala gets pinned (the original rules, I guess). The Coffin is apparently just icing on the cake here, and Taker nails it shut and carts it to the back, having sufficiently destroyed any of the Ugandan Giant's heat. See, now this weirds me out, because Taker was one of the hottest acts in the company at this time- he could've been given a huge push instead of wasted stuff like this. Kamala would be 'rescued' by The Reverend Slick shortly, doing a "You are a MAN!" thing, but the face turn never took off, and he was gone quickly.

---

Match #8:
WWF World Title Match:
Bret "Hit Man" Hart (vs) Shawn Michaels-
This feud was VERY poorly booked and announced leading up to this, which shows how by-the-skin-of-their-teeth this whole show was booked. See, Shawn had beaten the British Bulldog for the IC Title, in a move that was REALLY out of nowhere, as Davey-Boy's push was into the STRATOSPHERE after having a ***** SummerSlam CLASSIC with Bret Hart. But steroid investigations happened, and when Captain Juice was on your team, he had to go. So Shawn winned with a very nice ending (dropping down from a Superplex), and was now the hot heel IC Champion. So Bret & Shawn were signed for SurSer as a revenge dealie. BUT THEN Bret won the World Title from Ric Flair in a rapidly-booked and decided on change, so the brand-new, under-pushed World Champion was now fighting the brand-new under-pushed IC Champion in the Main Event. VERY weird stuff, and even as a young fan watching this build-up for the first time, I noticed that a) nobody acted like Shawn could ever win (I mean, he had JUST WON HIS BELT- he was nowhere NEAR the Main Event yet!), and b) they weren't even really feuding at the time. This was a general problem in this era, as there was like two or three legit main eventers (especially once Savage & Flair were pushed away), so every Main Event looked like shit. The most common-sensical thing to do would've been have Bret (vs) Flair in a re-match on this card, but that tag match earlier had already been signed with that feud going on- just a mess.

On to the match. It's VERY slow-going at first, but keeps a good pace with all the restholds and technical moves, as both guys work out their best stuff on that front. Bret's selling of a "run shoulder-first into the post" spot is BRILLIANT, and showcases just how good he was. Camera's about two inches away, and you just hear him grunting in pain like he broke his entire arm. Awesome stuff. Shawn works the arm, but then ignores it and goes to the head & neck for whatever reason. Five Moves of Doom, but Shawn avoids getting finished. Superkick out of nowhere, but it wasn't his finisher yet. Teardrop Suplex gets two. Bret gets the occasional comeback spot. I should note that the crowd is actually REALLY hot througout this- lots of girly-squeals for both guys- so the issue with this Main Event isn't so much the guys as it is the booking. Bobby Heenan keeps assuming Shawn's gonna win, but it ain't gonna happen. He tries a Missile Dropkick (dumbass- why not just GIVE HIM the win?) and Bret blocks it with the Sharpshooter to retain. Very good, well-wrestled match, but doesn't sniff most of their classics.

The Review: Not a... HORRIBLE show exactly, and the Main Event is easily ***3/4, but it's kind of lame and not really worth buying on it's own. Most of the other matches were disappointing or just plain bad (the Coffin Match especially), Energy/Shrinkers was a squash, as was Yoko/Virgil, Tatanka/Martel SUCKED, and the one unique Elimination Match was just slow. There was a LOT of slow wrestling on this show actually, with guys just settling into rest-holds and slowly beating on one guy for a LOT of extended periods, which made alot of this really boring. See the Main Event, and maybe the tag match (mainly for the psychology & heat), and skip the rest.

[Not BAMF]

Wow...I remember most of this show, but I had completely forgotten Bret vs Shawn was the main event. I still don't recall that match at all, which is weird because they were my two favorite guys in the fed at the time.

[Propeus The Fallen]

I liked Nailz' interview, especially when he was talking about his cell. And Kamala matches are never going to be classics, but the man has the best facial expressions in wrestling.

[Jabroniville]

It started good at first, but kinda trailed off given the length. I think with some limitations to the time given, he could've been a pretty good promo guy. He certainly radiated an aura of menace.

[Jabroniville]

WWF Survivor Series (1993)-

-Now we're well into the REALL dark period, where it's not Bret Hart against a string of shitty heels anymore- it's LEX LUGER leading the promotion as a Chasing the Belt Face against the big, fat, unover Monster Heel Yokozuna. This was pretty much stinking things up, while Bret Hart was stuck feuding with Jerry Lawler of all people for half the year. It's the era of crappy gimmicks, failed pushes and midcarders booked as World Title contenders! Hooray!

-Roster changes: A LOT. The entire late-80s/early-90s crew is totally gone, with the Natural Disasters, Nasty Boys, Million Dollar Man, Kamala, Virgil, the Beverly Brothers, Ric Flair, Big Boss Man, Nailz & Koko B. Ware all leaving the company, leaving a relatively GUTTED Main Event with Lex Luger & Yoko in the key roles, and a whole new tag team section taking over. Newbies are Diesel, 1-2-3 Kid, Marty Jannetty's return, Adam Bomb, The Heavenly Bodies, Bastion Booger, Bam Bam Bigelow, Lex Luger, the Steiner Bros., The Quebecers, Ludvig Borga and Crush.

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Match #1:
"The Bad Guys"
Razor Ramon (c), "Macho Man" Randy Savage, The 1-2-3 Kid & Marty Jannetty
(VS)
"The Taxing, Radioactive, Diesel Truck Models"
Irwin R. Schyster (c), Diesel, Rick "The Model" Martel & Adam Bomb

-This is a pretty big midcard feud match. I believe IRS & Ramon have the issue, but Razor fought The Model to win his first Intercontinental Title not too long ago. Diesel & Bomb are there as Big Man Filler (though Diesel had an issue with Mister Perfect). Ramon gets on the mic to announce Savage as replacing Perfect (who was injured and bailed on the company till WM X), which gets him a HUGE pop. Of course, he's feuding with Crush as of this PPV, but whatever. The Kid is a Ramon Buddy (their alliance cemented Ramon's face turn, as he suddenly "gained respect" for the Kid), and Jannetty's HIS buddy, so this makes sense. Everyone goes for a bit, but then Savage comes in, and the crowd EXPLODES as he just annihilates the ENTIRE heel team by himself (they QUADRUPLE TEAM HIM and he basically just outwits them and knocks them around), finishing Diesel with the Flying Elbow (Big D was pre-Rumble Run here, by the by). Jesus Christ, this guy was over his whole career, I swear to God. Fuck Luger, the belt should've been back on SAVAGE.

Crush comes down to distract Savage, though, and I.R.S. gets the pin on him from that. Razor's Edge eliminates I.R.S., which is weird because Irwin was the Team Captain and this was the main feud. And it's a bad sign for Ramon, because indeed, as all Faces who hit their finisher too early, he gets beaten. I.R.S.'s Briefcase was the cause this time around. So it's Model & Bomb (vs) The Tiny Guys, who sell alot. But then the Kid Sunset Flips Martel for a surprise pin, and when Adam Bomb runs in to kick his ass, Marty tags in and does the same to him. BIG crowd pop for that, as the crowd wasn't expecting it at all.

Survivors: 1-2-3 Kid & Marty Jannetty. Quite a decent little match, with not so much time wasting, and a nicely-booked series of eliminations.

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Match #2:
"The Hart Family"
Bret "Hit Man" Hart (c), "The Rocket" Owen Hart, Bruce Hart & Keith Hart
(VS)
"The King & His Knights"
Shawn Michaels (c), The Red Knight, The Blue Knight & The Black Knight

-While it was a step down for Bret, his feud with Lawler was EPIC and full of good, old-fashioned hatred & ultra-violence. So of course The King goes and gets arrested for suspicions of raping a teenage girl (he was innocent, but let's just say nobody in the industry was shocked by the charges of him fucking a teen and leave it at that), and Shawn Michaels, freshly back in the company from a brief firing over a contract dispute, takes his place. So this BLOOD FEUD has to quickly transfer some heat to Michaels, who's already laying the foundation of a Ramon feud over who the "Real Intercontinental Champion" is, since he was 'unjustly' stripped of it earlier. He's carrying around his original IC Belt now, too. Yeah, bet THAT feud won't end up making both guys' careers or anything. The Harts do an interview before the match. Heh, Keith looks just like somebody's dad, not a wrestler. Bruce is trying his absolute hardest to look intense, but both Bret's book and the Stampede History book have combined to make him look like an utter tool in retrospect anyways. The company had so few wrestlers at the time that it trotted out jobbers as the "Knights", Barry Horowitz is Blue, Greg Valentine is Red, and Jeff Gaylord (hah! what a name!) is Black (not Glen "Kane" Jacobs, as is often reported).

Owen puts the Black Knight away with a Missile Dropkick after a LONG, fairly uneventful match. The highlight is Bobby Heenan on commentary, getting BRILLIANT timing with a "Stu has a picture of HELEN HART on the back of his jacket!" line just as Stu's Boston Bruins logo comes into view. Guest Commentator Ray Combs can't help but laugh, while Vince does his trademark "mock offense". Keith & Bruce seem perfectly capable, if jobber-ish, wrestlers out there. Bruce keeps hitting his beloved "Hook Clothesline" on guys like it'll get him over (but he does get to kick out from the Sweet Chin Music in the days when people were allowed to do that). Dynamite Kid wasn't kidding when he said that the only two REALLY good Hart workers were the two famous ones. Bret does away with the Blue Knight via Sharpshooter (after Valentine just can't hold back and starts dropping Hammer Elbows). Owen does the same to the Red Knight, as this is pretty one-sided, but as Bret is injured on the apron, Shawn whips Owen into him and pins him, giving us the great big Owen Heel Push's beginning, as he whines and shoves Bret after Shawn just bails for the Count Out.

Survivors: Bret, Owen & Bruce Hart. Not a good match- just passable, as it was generic technical stuff (and thirty minutes of it!) against mostly weak opponents. Amazingly, Shawn was actually WORSE in this role than JERRY LAWLER would've been, just because of the crowd heat and the feud going on at the time.

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Match #3:
Smoky Mountain Wrestling Tag Team Titles:
The Rock 'n' Roll Express (vs) The Heavenly Bodies (w/ Jim Cornette)-
Woah, unexpected. So with the WWF falling completely to shit, we have the old stand-by: kiss ass to the Indies & work with them. And WOW do the R'n'Rs look old here- Ricky Morton may've been a sex symbol once, but this flabby, pasty guy with the worst mullet in human history sure isn't gonna be scoring any tang. The Bodies were standard Southern-style tag workers who never went on to the fame of the R'n'Rs, the Midnights, etc., but were above-average workers. Curiously, this is one of only TWO R'n'R Express matches I've ever seen (there was a bloody cage match on a WWF set), which is funny because I have tapes of All-Japan, Gaea & Toryumon shit all over the place. The match is quite good, featuring a ton of double teaming. "Gigolo" Jimmy Del Ray hits a Moonsault, which of course was state-of-the-art in this era of WWF. The best shit is at the ending, when the Bodies literally pull out about three or four legitimate Tag Match Finishers in a row, but the Express comes back. Cheating with the Tennis Racket gets the win and the Titles for the Heavenly Jobbers.

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Match #4:
"The Flaming, Cannibalistic Boogers"
Bam Bam Bigelow (w/ Luna) (c), Bastion Booger & The Headshrinkers (w/ Afa)
(VS)
"Four Doinks"

-As a noted atheist, I've often been a part of many religious debates, though I avoid them on SHC. Long arguments with people I generally consider friends about the pointlessness of faith, the dangers of religion, etc. But I will always have a trump card. Statistical and logistical proof that God does not and CAN NOT exist. It is this match.

See, Doink's gimmick was that there was often a duplicate or something running around, causing mayhem. Kind of weird and stupid, but understandable in the midcard. So FOUR Doinks being in one match could almost be interesting. But when they come down... it's the Bushwhackers (themselves not even regulars by this point) and Men on a Mission (w/ Oscar), in Doink facepaint. The crowd doesn't get it, chanting "We Want Doink!" in fairly annoyed fashion, which the faces (and Vince on commentary) try to pass off as crowd pops. Mabel makes on terrifying fucking giant clown, I tell you what- especially with those gold teeth. Ugh. This is... it's indescribable. The heels stagger & stumble around like fools while the faces play jokes and stuff on them. Samu takes the first fall, being rolled up by Luke because of a WATER BALLOON. The next elimination is even worse, as Booger does his Jumping Sit Splash move on a Bushwhacker, but gets distracted by a BANANA, which he then starts to eat. Battering Ram segues to a Mabel Legdrop, and Booger's gone. Fatu slips on the banana peel and gets pinned by Butch. Yes, I just typed that. All four Clowns jump on Bigelow in a big dogpile pin to win the match.

Survivors: All Four Doinks- Men on a Mission & The Bushwhackers. The "real" Doink shows up on the big video screen to taunt Bigelow and laugh and non-jokes. This is every bit as bad as it sounded, was clumsy and insulted the intelligence of everyone watching it. Legitimately one of the worst matches ever, in addition to being a Bait & Switch, since Doink didn't wrestle. This feud actually lasted until WrestleMania X, with Bam Bam & Luna squashing Doink & Dink horribly, sending the character into the undercard.

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Match #5:
"The All-Americans"
Lex Luger (c), The Undertaker (w/ Paul Bearer) & The Steiner Brothers
(VS)
"The Foreign Fanatics"
Yokozuna (w/ Mr. Fuji & James E. Cornette) (c), Ludvig Borga, Crush & Quebecer Jacques

-This Main Event was kinda weird, as they ran angles up to the show where Borga first injured Tatanka through cheating, then pinned him with a single finger to end the MASSIVE two year-long undefeated streak of the terrible, terrible worker. Talk about a forgotten, undeserved push for a guy. In response, Luger then beat up Quebecer Pierre and injured him with the Bionic Elbow, putting HIM out of the match. Therefore we got Undertaker replacing Tatanka (as 'Taker was now apparently a patriot with the Stars & Stripes on the inside of his jacket), and Crush (debuting his new Heel Look with Evil Parallel Universe Goatee and the greatest mullet in wrestling history) replacing Pierre, to make this more of a blood feud. Interesting booking, in any case. Rick Steiner is out first, REALLY quickly, thanks to Borga (who was undergoing a BIG Mega Heel Push at this time) blocking a Flying Cross-Body. It's been suggested that Rick was legit hurt, and it looked like it out there, as he staggered around and was out fast. Randy Savage runs out a few times to get at Crush, and eventually they just brawl to the back after Crush gets dumped.

Luger quickly finishes off Jacques the Designated Jobber with the Bionic Elbow, but then Scott tries the Frankensteiner on Yokozuna, but hits air. Well what the fuck was he hoping to accomplish with THAT move? Hulkbuster Legdrop puts him away. Undertaker FINALLY gets in after sixteen minutes, brawls around with Yoko in oddly high-tempo fashion, and both are counted out to the back, which would eventually give us the Worst Rumble Main Event Ever... until Scott Steiner and his 900 Belly-to-Bellies got involved. So it's just Borga & Luger, which is a pretty good bit of booking, and Luger makes a Hogan-esque comeback (which shows the problem with the character in a nutshell) and finishes with the Elbow Smash and poses.

Sole Survivor: Lex Luger. Good booking, bad-ish match. Just no crowd heat (Luger was NOT over as a star at all), heels nobody really cares about, and the wrestling was pretty pedestrian.

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The Review: Pretty bad show after the first good match and the tag one. The Main Event was kinda boring, the Doinks match is just horrid shit that I'll never watch again, and the Harts/Knights match had little drama without Lawler in there, and was generally way too long and slow. The SMW Tag Match was quite good but not **** or anything, and the opener was fast and well-booked, though. This was a VERY dark period for the WWF, with Vince honestly thinking he'd go to prison because of the Steroid Investigations, so all the stupid shit goes up to the front: Clown matches, a Hogan retread in the Main Event, Bret Hart wasting a lot of time, and a PPV FULL of non-regular wrestlers (the 'Whackers, Bruce & Keith, the three Knights and the Rock 'n' Roll Express); it all shows what happens when nobody in the company has any clue what they're doing.

[HalloweenJack]

Shawn wasn't fired. he was suspended for testing positive for roids.